MAKE A DECISION ALREADY!!!!

You’re in the car and you’re all ready to go, but where are you going?  UMMM….I DUNNO!?!

It drives me crazy in a relationship when you ask “What do you want to do?” and it’s always “I dunno, you decide.”  What do you want to eat?  “Umm…I dunno, you decide.”  How in the world am I supposed to decide what you want to eat?  It doesn’t happen that way, sorry.  It just doesn’t.  We are all born with things we like and we all have feelings about what we want and when.  I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone where I have to make every decision, because the other person would prefer just doing what I want to do or eating what I want to eat.  I want someone who can make a decision or at least can throw out some options and have a personality of their own and likes and dislikes and all of that.  I mean yeah, I get it…”aww he’s being a nice guy and letting you decide.”  Yeah…umm…that’s cute in the beginning, not after months and years of a relationship.  I

I want and need someone that can make decisions together and we each have input on them.  I’m not even talking about the small stuff like where to go and eat dinner or where to go to have fun.  I’m talking about on everything.  I don’t want to be in a relationship where everything I say automatically goes.  I want someone to give their opinion and feelings on things and have some input.  “Oh you want to move back to Oklahoma and go back into the closet and pretend like we’re not together?  When we moving?”  Seriously dude grow a backbone!  “Hell no I won’t move and do that!  I’m not going to waste my time with it…other options please.”  That seriously is very valuable to me.  To be in a relationship with someone who can take a stand and play a part in making decisions.

It makes me wonder how the person ever got by without me and that’s not what I want.  I want someone who knew themselves before getting with me.  Someone that had goals and was ambitious about going out and achieving them.  Someone who isn’t dependent on me, but that adjusted his already busy life to fit me in and sacrifice some some of that time to make me a part of his life and me make him a part of mine.  It’s very important to me that we are both driven to exceed in life.

This isn’t going to be the same in every single relationship.  Everyone has their own individual wants and needs.  Don’t think well Jeremy said that we have to both be career oriented and goal driven, so that’s how it has to be to make this thing work.  Not what I am saying at all.  I am just voicing my own needs.  Some people can pull off the one parent staying at home with the kids or the one partner staying home and taking care of the house duties.  That is absolutely fine if you have that agreement in your relationship and it’s working for both of you and you are both being appreciated for what you do from each other.  That’s wonderful!  But it’s just not for me.   Not at all.

I think the whole decision making thing has a lot to do with knowing yourself.  If you go through life without being able to make a decision, you probably don’t know what you want, which means you really don’t know yourself yet.  That is something you need to fix long before you go into a relationship.  You can’t expect someone else to know you if you don’t even know yourself yet.  It won’t work.  Don’t be in the middle of a relationship and just now start trying to figure out who you are.  Who you are has nothing to do with who you are with currently.  Who you are is solely based on YOU.  Can you change around certain things and make some sacrifices for the person you are with?  Sure.  But the foundation of you is YOU, and that should and never will change.  So, figure out who you are and what your foundation is right now.  Like for instance, what you believe as far as religion or spiritual beliefs.  Which political party you side with more.  If you want kids.   What you want to do with your life as far as career.  And so on and so forth.  That stuff should all be the foundation of who you are and will probably never change once you have yourself figured out and you know who you are for sure.  Then you can make a decision on your own and you’ll be ready for that relationship you’ve always wanted.

I think that is what upsets me so much about people who can make a decision even on the basic level of decision making, is that they didn’t respect themselves enough to figure themselves out in life and what they want, how could they ever expect anyone else to respect them?  That’s blunt, but it’s really the truth.  I can’t care about you if you don’t care for yourself.

You’re not going to get to this point of decision making, the point that comes after you know yourself, over night.  It takes time and patience, but if you spend it and make an effort to get to know yourself, you won’t regret it.  You’ll have so many people respecting you so much more.  Trust me!  Find your foundation and stand on it, so people like me don’t get so frustrated with you because you can’t make a decision.

That’s all I got on this one folks.  I hope you enjoyed reading it.  If you got comments please leave em.  If you wanna talk with me about what you read please feel free to reach out to me through text or whatever.  My info is on the home page of the this blog.  Until next time…..

Peace out my blog junkies,

J